A Better Chance for Our Children’s history began in 1971 when Tressler Adoption Services was founded by William and Barbara Tremitiere, who had fifteen children, twelve of whom were adopted. The Tremitieres were pioneers in advocating for the adoption of older, traumatized children who were considered “unadoptable” rather than focusing on infants. At that time, adoption was very different. Couples wanted to adopt a baby who looked like them and had many of their qualities. Many children were not told they were adopted because they were similar in so many ways to their adoptive parents, and it became a secret in the family. Fortunately, times have changed, and the focus is on connecting children to the right families, not “matching” a child to parents. 

Mary Lou Edgar, the founder of A Better Chance for Our Children, and her husband, Dan Edgar, have five children, three of whom came to them through adoption.  After they had adopted two of their children, they realized how much they didn’t know and sought people with similar experiences.  This ultimately led them to Barb Tremitiere, who was speaking in Wilmington.  After listening to Barb and hearing how the Tressler program worked, Mary Lou felt this was needed in Delaware. So, Mary Lou began her career in adoption by bringing the Tressler program to Delaware in 1996, and it was almost immediately successful. Now Barb’s model is considered “best practice,” and her work is known throughout the world. 

Tressler Adoption Services emphasized educating and supporting families for as long as it was needed. Barb Tremitiere called this ongoing support “cradle to grave” assistance, and it helped ensure long-term success. A Better Chance for Our Children is deeply committed to this philosophy. No matter how old your child is—whether they’re 5 or 28—when you need us, we’ll be there. In some cases, our workers have even traveled to other states to support families. We value resilience in families, encouraging families to look into themselves and honestly acknowledge what their limits are. Transparency is central to our approach. We offer a great deal of help in learning about the children in need of families. People often fall in love with a picture and forget how children change while living in traumatic situations. They can be tough to parent.  

Parent preparation was (and still is) required of every family interested in adopting or providing foster care. For many people, the reality we teach is enough to help them decide that this path isn’t for them. Families were—and are—treated as equal partners in this process. They will raise this child, so their voice must be heard. We help adoptive families prepare for their future with their children by providing a “prediction sheet” that outlines the potential joys and challenges ahead. Parents sign the prediction sheet, stating that they understand the difficulties they might face. If the challenges don’t come, great! If they do, the parents realize that they need to seek help and possibly review what they have learned. All of these practices and many more significantly reduce adoption disruptions and ensure stability for children with significant levels of need.
 The program Mary Lou began in Delaware in 1996 carried on through partnerships with other organizations until she founded A Better Chance for Our Children. The program was incorporated in 2009 and became fully operational by 2011. A Better Chance for Our Children maintains Tressler’s principles, providing education, empowerment, and lifelong support to help families and children thrive together. By achieving this type of support, we are creating emotionally strong children and families. One of Mary Lou’s favorite things to tell people wondering about our kids is that children are our hope for the future. Nothing is more important!